22:14
Wednesday 18 May 2011
Family Dynamics
Jellysaur here...that sounds so childish, but I’m not about to use my real name. For fear of being stalked, not because my real name’s weird or anything...
Since no one’s really covered it in depth, I’ve decided to post about our “family dynamics”. So, as a human with internet (otherwise, how else are you reading this blog?), you must have Facebook. Therefore, you know the options available for tagging people as your husband/wife/daughter/son/brother/sister/etc. I’m not sure how it started, but some “family relationships” were established in our group, then more people were integrated...and now, I’m “related” to people and we have weird storylines, as well.
I’m not sure about the peripheral people, but I know the main ones. Oh, and everyone is supposedly a hermaphrodite except Vicky, ‘cause it apparently skipped her.
Tam-pon is Vicky’s father. She raped Vicky, and that produced me.
Victoria is Lucy’s spouse, which makes Tam-pon my “biological father” and Lucy my “step-father”. Oh...and Tam’s technically my “grandfather” as well.
Tam-pon is currently married to Cheeseballs, and I put myself down as emotionally unavailable. I was once married to Chuck, but I divorced her...then she was labelled the family dog...so I was married to a Bismuth Technetium Hydrogen after all. :P
Some extra things...the reason I’m brown and not Asian-yellow is because Tam-pon took me to the beach, and then left me there to burn for a bit as she went to get some ice cream. She’s a bad parent. Well, duh. She did rape Vicky...
Lucy has apparently installed a bunch of cameras in my room, as she is a strict Asian parent and wants to monitor everything I do. She also comes to my room at night against my will, like the stereotypical step-parent she is. And I’m pretty sure she once said, “I’m your parent! I’m allowed to touch you!” I took it out of context and used it as evidence.
Of course, none of this is true (I hope, especially about the cameras...), but now you might understand our later posts if we reference those.
Also, the internet is creepy. While I was typing this, I was talking to one of my friends...and he was describing my house in detail, using Google Maps street-view. I did laugh when I looked it up and saw some things that have since changed around three years ago.
Holy non-sequitur Batman! Today, we had the Maths Team Challenge. My school’s Team 1 placed third...and my team, Team 2, came seventh. Sad. And it was not out of seven teams, by the way. There were eighteen... I don’t know how to end, so I’ll just stop. If we were in a real conversation—a very one-sided conversation, mind you—I would imagine myself just shutting up, turning around and walking off.
~Jellysaur
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